My Husband Left Me For Another Woman – Can I Get Him Back?

My Husband Left Me For Another Woman – Can I Get Him Back?

I get a lot of emails from women whose husbands have left. One of the more shared reasons behind this is the existence of another woman. Sometimes, the husband is clearly leaving to be with the other person. And other times, he’s denies that her existence is really the deciding factor in his walking away. Wives very rarely believe this. Most of them feel that if they can figure out a way to get the husband to break things off with the other person, then they will have a chance to repair their marriage.

This is probably oversimplifying the issue a bit. Because there really are three possible issues here. The first is what in the marriage contributed to the husband meeting and forming a relationship with someone else. The second is the fact that the husband has checked out of the marriage and has left. And, the third issue is only going to come into play if the husband decides to return home or at the minimum wants to try to repair the marriage. The third issue would be reestablishing the trust and the connection after his betrayal.

It’s important to understand though, that you aren’t going to be able to address any of these three issues without your husband’s cooperation. This course of action takes two willing people. With that said though, there are ways that you can set it up to hopefully contribute to his wanting to return. I will discuss this more in the following article.

Him Ending The Relationship With The Other Woman Needs To Be His Choice, But You Can Nudge Him Toward This: First off, it’s very tempting to think that you need to come up with a way to destroy their relationship. If that doesn’t work, the next step that many people will take is to try to bombard the husband will so many pleas for attention that he realizes that you’re superior to the other woman and decides that he’s making a mistake.

You do want for him to realize that he’s making a huge mistake, but it truly is in your best interest to allow him to come to this decision himself. When you try to force your hand or act in a desperate way, you run the risk of making a pest of yourself, contributing to him seeing you negatively, and making your job harder.

Although this strategy can initially feel scary and risky, I firmly believe that you’re generally better off conducting yourself with personal integrity and making your strength clear. It’s best to tell him that although you’re not sure that you’re ready to end the marriage, you can’t address the marriage unless he’s focused solely on you and your relationship. Since this isn’t happening right now, he can contact you when he’s decided that he’s committed only to you and to the marriage. If you feel the need to, you can tell him that you’ll be there for him if he needs sustain or needs to talk, but the marriage has to come off the table while there are three people in this relationship.

I know that this is a lot to ask, but it accomplishes several things. You’ve made it clear that his having someone else is not permissible. You’ve presented yourself as someone with strength and standards and these things will make you appear to be much more attractive and in control. And, you’ve made it clear that you aren’t ready to end the marriage, but that some things will need to be deleted before you will consider fixing this.

Sure, your husband may not let the other woman go closest. But, you have set yourself up so that when he tires of her or realizes just how stupid this whole thing is, you’ve not given your strength away or reduced your own actions down to her level. Throwing yourself at your husband or acting in a way that is beneath you is horrible for your self esteem and over all situation. This kind of behavior is usually the beginning of a slippery slope that you’ll want to avoid at all costs.

Portraying Your Best Self While He’s Away: It’s very tempting to never leave the house and to sink into a thorough depression but these are additional things that you must avoid. You want for him to know that there isn’t any grass growing under your feet. Don’t make the very shared mistake, though, of finding someone else. You are nevertheless married. You don’t want to conduct yourself in the way that he is. It’s OK to go out with friends and make sure that he knows about this. He will usually surprise if you are seeing other people. And, he can surprise this, but don’t make it a reality.

Again, you want to portray yourself in an attractive way. He needs to know that you’re the fun loving, exciting woman that he fell in love with. This is who you want to show him. Ultimately, you want to winds of strength to begin to shift. You want to lure him back to you and you want for him to be the one who is doing the chasing. It’s human character for people to want what they perceive might be tricky to truly have. So, always remember that you want to move slowly and that ultimately you want to be in the situation where he’s the pursuer, not vice verse.

Once He Decides To Give Up The Other Woman: If you play this correctly and have a little bit of luck and timing on your side, often he will ultimately realize that the other woman and his relationship with her isn’t all that he hoped it would be. When this happens, it’s shared to feel so much relief that you let your guard down and are willing to take him back closest. This is not always in your best interest either.

You’ll need to take a hard look at the marriage and figure out what needs to be fixed to ensure the relationship is a substantial one from this point forward. That’s why taking it slowly is always a great idea. There’s bound to be a lot of water under the proverbial bridge so don’t try to gain too much ground too soon. You have plenty of time and in order to restore the trust and connection, many things need to happen. But, if you put too much pressure on the time of action, you run the risk of compromising the results.

At this point, you would’ve worked hard to continue your dignity and strength, so don’t blow the whole thing by letting down your guard. There’s nevertheless work to be done, but if you take it day by day and work at at together (because he’s now fully on board) you will have a greater chance of success.

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